I’ve been reading George R R Martin’s books since 2003, so believe me, Game of Thrones on HBO is one of my favorite.things.ever. Overall I think the show is amazing.
HBO, we need to talk. Game of Thrones’ use of “sexposition” (ie: dude character randomly exposits backstory via monologue to nameless naked whore/wench) is pretty infamous. There is a lot of sex in the books too, and it isn’t always nice sex. It’s not that I mind the naked exposition. I don’t, not horribly much. Deadwood used this plot device a lot, wherein Al would go on these awesome monologues to his favorite saloon girl Trixie while they were alone in his room. I get that it lets a character talk freely to the audience who otherwise would not.
But. (You knew there was a “but” coming.) I am asking for a little equality here. Yo, Game of Thrones, you have a lot of female viewers! The sexposition in the show is seriously, SERIOUSLY, imbalanced. Male viewers have gotten full frontal tons of times. Boobs, boobs, and more boobs. They even invented a character who’s not in the books (Ros) solely for the purpose of male characters expositing at her naked breasts. What eye candy has there been for us? Let’s review:
- Full frontal Alfie Allen as Theon (acceptable)
- Full frontal Hodor (!!!!!)
- Shirtless Gendry last week was OK
- That one scene in the pilot where all the Stark boys are hanging around shirtless
- Oh, and my fave male full frontal: the dude who is being dragged to his death behind a Dothraki horse. Yeah, that was totally sexy.
So, as you can see from this list, not exactly a scintillating list of male sexy parts. But last night was the proverbial Straw That Made Me Go On A Massive Twitter Rant. And I wouldn’t have even known about it. They MIGHT HAVE SLIPPED THE WOOL OVER MY EYES… had I not gone back into A Clash of Kings to check how some scenes played out in the book.
Y’ALL. Seriously. When Arya tells Jaqen H’ghar her second death wish in the book, he is sitting naked in a bathhouse. Oh yes he is. (For comparison, we got full frontal Osha sexing up Theon on the show last night instead. I will give you one guess as to whether that happens in the book.) But on the show, they changed it so Arya was all in a hurry and she runs up to him like, “You need to kill this guy this second before he reveals who I am!” and he’s all, “A man rolls his eyes.” And then, like a badass, murders the guy 10 seconds later. So, to recap, no assassin in bathhouse action.
Why does this matter, you ask? It matters because the guy who plays Jaqen H’ghar is hot.
Just for reference, this is the actor we did not get sitting naked in a bathhouse:
Granted, he is dirtier and with weirder hair in the show. But still. HBO, you are on notice. Step up your game. A girl is mad.